Friday, May 8, 2009

Getting more critiques from the world

The new happenings include my increased courage: gettin' out there and asking some poets if they grok what I'm doing. I submitted both the first and last shards at three different forums. The mixed results are below, though some site administrator might well cull these threads at some point.

At each site I started by critiquing roughly ten poems as required [in fact one was required to post only one crit, but I was generous. ]


The first forum was Freewrights. I went by Dagra there and a little friction ensued between myself and another poet, not so much in the critique of my work as on other threads, where I'd critiqued someone else's work.
The last shard got no feedback at all.


Next was "401: Songs of Despair," on the poets.org site. There I was DaveDave, and yeah, there was more friction. Lots more, and I THREW DOWN. The carnage is there to be witnessed -- it's relatively polite carnage. http://www.poets.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=18647 and http://www.poets.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=18667

Condensed version: Someone whose work I'd critiqued responded in kind. We had a brief discussion. No-one else contributed, so I eventually posted gentle challenges. This brought some other replies; I responded, and then an administrator reminded me of the rules. Upon which she felt I'd trespassed. Though I didn't agree I was most civil.


Then came Scribophile, and life became better. I'd found them serendipitously, through a Google alert for "epic poem." They had an epic poem contest, requiring iambic pentameter in heroic couplets with a 2,000 word limit. I don't want to confirm that I'm a total epic poetry snob, so I'll just leave it alone. What matters is that I both gave and GOT some good critiques: they said nice things about the work, and more importantly were insightful and appeared to grasp what I was trying to do.

http://www.scribophile.com/authors/dave-gracer/works/shard-twenty-five/

I'm not certain there's much point in posting all of this, but this blog concerns my efforts to complete the poem and to communicate my work to the rest of the world. In the last few weeks I've gotten new determination to do both.

More Stuff Coming.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

New Life

Hard to believe that it's been less than a month since the last post -- feels like a year has passed.

On second thought, NO this blog is not dead. My renaissance of interest in the poem is expanding, and part of that rebirth (I'm committed to finishing it, as best I can) is to keep trying to communicate what I'm doing. This blog is an important part of that, even if no one's reading it, and there's no indication that anyone has.

But it's fine if my work on the poem and in this blog is like standing in the wilderness, cupping my hands around my mouth, and shouting. It's cool if the work will never be as good in the real world as it is in my internal vision of it. It's even okay if this blog lacks dynamic presentation, like images and stuff. Maybe someone will come along and read about what I'm trying to do.

Onward.

Friday, April 3, 2009

I guess I'm done with this after all

I'd meant to keep this blog as a record of the creative process. I posted a couple interesting things about what I'm trying to do with the epic, but it's time to stop kidding myself.

After neglecting the work for a long time, I'm busy with it. The noble Sachio of Philadelphia is reading it (it's roughly 450 single-spaced pages and about 9700 lines). Some friends of his are interested in the work, so there will be some sharing. I've posted two excerpts on poetry forums, which I hadn't done before. No one replied with anything useful; in fact there have been extremely few responses at all, even though I'd critiqued other poems previously, as etiquette requires.

There's no point in maintaining this blog, but I'll leave it up: a cairn and a beacon.

Monday, April 7, 2008

The title, and other updates

Hi again.

This may seem a tad ridiculous, but at least for the benefit of you folks who've just arrived: this blog concerns my work on a long poem, entitled Returning Waves.

I thought I'd mentioned that before, but no.

I'm hopefully starting to get better about posting at my other blog, but I doubt that that will happen for this one. I'm trying to write more on entomophagy, and succeed in putting a book together on that subject. With a lot of hard work it might become acceptable to the public -- the book, that is, as opposed to entomophagy itself.

As much as I'd like to get more done on the epic, I don't see that happening in the near future. Other parts of life are pulling at me.

I'm aware that this blog doesn't get much traffic, but I felt like posting this info.

To anyone reading this, have a good Spring.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

We Are Not Dead.

So yeah.... been a while since the last post. (I haven't done all that much with my other blog either but the point is that) I'm still at work on the beast. Early this fall I'd found a helpful method; I printed shadow copies of the episodes wherein I 'shrunk' the content of the longer scenes into the smallest font size possible.

Doing this makes a 17-page episode print as 8 pages, which throws new light on the landscape of the storylines. I can more easily ensconce the written-but-not-placed segments in their proper positions within the overall arc of the narrative. Stuff like that.

And actually I had gone several months without touching the work but I'm back to it now. With a little determination 2008 will see more activity on both the work and the blog that seeks to document it.

Monday, July 23, 2007

The Underlying Proposition

For some reason it's never really sunk in that the basis of the opus is kind of old hat, in a way. One of the things at the bedrock is the idea that humanity is on its way out; that our species is doomed; that the end is nigh.

There's a lot of reason to think so. When I say to people -- as I sometimes do -- that the writing is on the wall, and our species is living beyond its means so egregiously that we're doomed, they agree with me. This means that either they really feel this way or they're simply putting on the pose for my benefit, which is also quite possible.

One would have to admit that the mountains of evidence are overwhelming. These days the only people who deny global climate change, loss of biodiversity, etc have a vested interest in doing so, or are working hard to live in denial. The science on this subject seems to be extremely clear. But the fact remains that people have been saying this for a very long time. There's never been a shortage of people who see the great big cataclysm heading right towards us. Despite their convictions both the world and the humans upon it are intact.

The same could be true even now. What if all this dire glacier-melting, temperature-rising, rain-forest-falling, fisheries-depleting, and population-skyrocketing turns out to be no big deal, that the data has been read incorrectly or that we'll develop a technology that will save our asses and humanity is going to be fine? Wouldn't that be a travesty? It would mean that our species could do exactly what it wanted, with no consideration of the consequences, and still not have to be faced with any consequences. Where's the fairness in that?

Monday, July 16, 2007

D-Day for the environment

It's time for a real excerpt.
This is from Shard Three [codename: beaten] and it details the havoc wreaked by The Flood. This could be a good place to launch into a disputation about the Ark movie currently playing in the theaters, Evan Almighty. That's not for today, though; I'll just post the verse.
Hope it's not too effen long.



Throughout the Beasts' peregrinations, the skies
made them apprehensive. A soft glow caressed
the mountaintops and tallest limbs of stunted Trees.
Lightning touched a Giraffe's horns. He toppled;
his widow turned to seek an alternate,
yet his heart revived and he regained his feet.
The sky cleared its throat; resulting hail
brought low the shrubs and baby Trees.
The world was rendered in a dark palette --
the light diffused, a king banished, hiding
in the vents of clouds, glinting on bushes and stones.
The world a play, the Beasts an audience forced
upon the stage, watching storms convene.
Springs below them bubbled upwards, to bury the land;
the sky developed along a path of bitter rage,
as if the Land had deeply offended. Winds
swept the earth like minions sent to the fore.
Birds that fled their flailing perches were touched
by lightning's fingertip or brutally concussed
between the meatless palms of thunder's hands.
Waves of rain like tall Grass in the wind
grew upon the land, rejoining itself.
The water nibbled, chewed, and sucked
the soil, annexing, adding to its strength. Was it one
or many? Army made of millions or mass
amoebic? Water played leapfrog down canyons,
formed columns, made a flowing host, subsuming
the world, aided by forces that spoke with the storm.
A thousand streams burst upward; their stones mixed
with hail descending. The many worlds
that make The World perished in their fashions: deserts
drank their death; tumbleweeds flew before
the damp winds o'er plains and high rangelands.
Along the banks of rivers, supple Willows
essayed to bend and thus appease the gale,
but flowing water, overweening, stole
the motes of earth from out the smallest roots.
Bereft of their foundations, they toppled, weeping.
Immense jungle Trees came down as well,
despite their buttress roots. The scenes bespoke
of sudden invasion from a host that knew
the victory that comes without resistance.
The sluicing killer raped the upland meadows;
With boneless hands the cataracts birthed upon
the level, fertile expanses seized that good
and topmost soil. Bushes flew, and Flowers
were ripped to shreds. The fragrant Herbs
in simple gardens keened. Along the sides
of lustrous mountains, grim, arcing scythes
that gained speed felled stands of thick Bamboo.
Trees flew from earth, struck by an infinite blackjack,
cold and weighted with passive trunks become
broom-straws wrought into weapons, sweeping clean
the world. Grass-stems piped tinny screams and joined
a soup of matter. Thus the round body
went through its convulsions. As befell the plants,
so the roaring waves found the Beasts,
whose very screams of shock killed them:
into open mouths expressing chagrin flowed water
that filled their lungs -- the few who'd not died
at once lost their lives in one of many other ways.
Coyote, famed for ingenuity, now found
himself short of tricks. His flailing limbs
did nothing to prolong his life. The tiny Owls
nesting in Cactus trees chirped forlornly
as their homes toppled, the water exploring all
the little byways therein. Rattlesnakes heard
the waves from afar, pounding the arid floor.
Lifting noisy tails, the Snakes warned
whatever had dared challenge them; they died
striking the shape of water that overcame
them. Seals and well-blubbered Walrus tried
to navigate, but wind and surf combined
to smash them against the rocky shores. All
were killed: the Snails in temperate gardens; fast
and garish Lizards hidden in jungle leaves;
Cheetahs racing across veldt; Penguins sliding
on bellies as icebergs clashed around them.
Like the meat of soft fruit beneath a thumb,
the world's flesh slewed and yawed. Indeed,
the very dirt itself became a rainbow
of disordered silt; an ocher toy that spun
in spirals; a gauzy mist; a vast ghost.
The land, submerged, disresembled what
it had been before. Most regions were consumed
in mud's myriad grades. The former seas,
subsumed, held jumbled life: the Dolphins, Whales,
and sundry Fish surprised by moving surf
were snapped in half, and died terrified by the storm's dim
reflection, and smaller things encased in thick
armor, afraid and yet determined to celebrate,
for the storm met with their approval.
The streaming sheets of rising silt buried
Oyster beds, overwhelmed fields
of Grass Eels, and confused the Rock Lobsters
that walked in single file; they broke their holds
upon each others' tails and scuttled each
to safety. At first the Fish refused to stir;
the stones ground against each other like teeth
before the boulders tumbled by the storm crushed
many who'd gathered beneath; their pulped bodies made
the water thick. Yet those that fled fared no better.
Yet in certain places, due to slopes
and subtle gradients of the land, the water's flow
had taken like a gentle lover, not
a rapist, engulfing slowly; these spoke of peace,
as if preserved in crystal. The flood had been
a peaceful despot, the Beasts and Plants euthanized,
the land pacified without a mark of damage.
Where certain forest acres hung suspended,
and stilled currents kept the motes of seed
and leaf from drifting throughout the drowned woods.
Beneath a raging storm was calm, and when
at length the sun would return, after the span
of storm, the light would shine in long shafts of gold.
At length the bits of matter slowly calmed,
and lapped the base of a hill. Those that approached
endured the small fists that hammered them
and therefore couldn’t appreciate the scene.



One reason to post this now: last night I saw a really good WWII movie, "When Trumpets Fade." What a great story, like Shakespeare and the Iliad and Middle Earth and a Documentary all in one. It concerns the Hurtgen Forest battle, not D-Day, but it got me thinking and besides I'd described the above passage to Jo as reminscent of D-Day as seen in "Saving Private Ryan."

I'd suppose that the day the asteroid hit -- the one that supposedly killed off the dinosaurs -- would've been like D-Day. These days not much happens in a single day that could be called 'cataclysmic.' On the other hand, in the total time-scale of Life on Earth, the last few hundred years isn't much; we've arisen and changed things in the blink of an eye, relatively speaking. But it may seem that from our point of view we haven't been doing all that much. Sure, we lose a lot of rain forest, and for specific populations [or even entire species] a few acres of jungle falling is like the apocalypse. But in the bigger picture it's death by degrees. Reminds one of that old chestnut about the frog in the pot; throw him in boiling water and he'll bolt, but turn the heat up gradually and he'll stay and die.
Not a bad metaphor for our approach...